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13 Steps to Harmonious Relationships

Source: Refuah Publications

By Dr. Joshua Ritchie M.D.


              13 Steps to Harmonious Relationships


1.  Be Understanding  Understand with empathy. Listen attentively, with compassion. Ask clarifying and open-ended questions to fully understand and to show your interest. Communicate your understanding with “active listening” and by responding in a non-critical and non-defensive way. 


2.  Be Respectful   Honor each person by showing positive regard and respect.  Relate to the essential goodness of each person, even when it is hidden. Recognize their great potential. Show them that you know how precious and valuable they are by expressing respect and appreciation.


3.  Be Sincere   Be genuine. Be really present with authentic and sincere interest. Share your best self, your highest feelings, your soulful connection, your caring and desire to help.   


4.  Be Exemplary   Teach by example.  Be a living example of what you want to teach. Inspire others with your positive attitude, joyful feelings and actions.  Be a good role model.


5.  Be Clear   Communicate well. Speak their language, verbal and non-verbal, to build rapport, comfort and trust.  For good communication, speak in ways that allows them to understand you, and in ways, such as by accurately summarizing and reflecting what they have said, so that they feel heard and understood.


6.  Be Encouraging   Praise other people’s positive attributes and express admiration & appreciation for their talents, qualities, accomplishments, values and courage. Validate their feelings and normalize their reactions.  Acknowledge and endorse their positive aspirations such as their desire to learn and grow.


7.  Be Supportive   Support and assist sensitively and compassionately with information, referrals, contacts, endorsements, backing, coaching, mentoring, teaching and training.


8.  Be Empowering   Empower others by supporting them in making their own decisions. Gently offer guidance in clarifying goals, considering consequences and choosing accomplishable steps. Their successes will increase their self-respect, confidence, sense of responsibility and empowerment.


 9. Be Prayerful & Optimistic   Optimistically trust in the essential goodness and growth of others. Visualize a harmonious  relationship, seeing the other blessed in light and love, protected and growing.  Prayers, blessings, affirmations and visualizations are powerful forces, benefiting everyone!


10.  Be Grateful & Gracious   Express your gratitude. Show your appreciation.  Be specific with your thanks and gratitude in  a timely fashion. Be grateful and acknowledge what others mean to you. Showing gratitude and appreciation works wonders. Be gracious and find grace in the eyes of the Creator and Mankind.


11.  Be Kind & Caring   Being kind and caring is our true calling, our soul’s divine nature. The benevolent giving of ourselves, with kind gestures, caring attitudes, and actions, is a blessing and healing for those we give to, and are a blessing and healing for ourselves.


12.  Be A Good Friend    A good friend allows us to give, as well as to receive and feel appreciated. Even when friends are not equally capable, each has something to give the other.  Creating opportunities for the other to give and gratefully receiving their gifts are the acts of a good friend.


13.  Be Loving   To love is to give, unselfishly, “l’shmah”.  It is noteworthy and not a coincidence that 13 is the Gematria of both Love and Oneness! God created us with love and He instructed us to love Him and His creation. Love is our soul’s calling. Our destiny is to be loving, emulating the qualities of God.  Love is nurturing & healing, stimulating emotional, spiritual and physical growth & development.

Studying at the Refuah Institute

Every week there was something that I could implement immediately, yet the full depth and value of the ideas and concepts matured throughout the duration of the program. The practice and role-playing sessions were especially powerful learning techniques.


~ Rabbi Tsvi Koehler AAPC

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