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The Joy of Coaching


Source: Hamodia Magazine

By Ahuvah Appelbaum

April 13, 2011



The Ramchal writes in Derech Hashem that Hashem created the world so that He could bestow His goodness on an “other”. In fact, we learn that this is the reason Hashem gave us His Torah — so that we can learn how to live a life of true joy and happiness, and assist our fellow Jews inachieving joy and happiness.



How can we accomplish this?



Joy and happiness start within — the joy of learning new things, changing old habits, the satisfaction that comes with moving forward, the process of discovery and growth — are sources of great satisfaction. Many of us are aware how difficult it is to accomplish this alone. Pair this awareness with an unpleasant feature of modern life: Many of us are very isolated. People are separated by the very technology that was supposedly designed to bring us together.Where is the sensitive personal support of another human being? It’s pretty rare.



Why do we need help from a coach?



In fact, it is a rare individual who possesses the tools to go through major life changes unaided. People don’t know how to ask themselves the right questions, provide themselves with healthy forms of encouragement and support, give themselves feedback, hold themselves accountable for the goals they set.


Magazines are full of self-help articles, and there is always the latest self-help book, but we are social beings, and it’s often more successful to work with another person.



What can a coach do?



That is where coaching comes in. Coaches are trained in communication and coaching skills and methods, relationship dynamics, motivation techniques, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Reality Therapy, counseling and group dynamics. The client makes a personal decision to work in tandem with a trained professional coach to achieve a goal. That goal may be to solve a problem at work, to improve a personalrelationship, to be a better teacher, to be healthier, to be a better business owner or employee. The coach-client relationship is based on the understanding that the client has the ability to find the best solution,given the proper guidance.



What is satisfying about coaching?



In fact, the coaching process can be a process of joy. The coach and the client both find joy in working together. It is a joy for the coach, who has the great satisfaction of helping people, and a joy for the client,when he or she has the great pleasure of finding fulfillment and success. The process of coaching begins withcoach and client establishing an alliance, a collaborative relationship. They are in this together to fulfill the client’s goals. They meet — on the phone, in person, or via Skype — to track progress, to discuss goalsand outcomes. Through fully-involved listening, the coach helps to bring out the best in the client. Imagine having someone in your corner who is there to help you discover your potential, your resources, and your creativity!



So how does coaching work?



Coaching begins with clarifying the client’s goals. Goals are not clear when they have not been verbalized, or brought to light, or considered to be possible. The coach professionally guides the client’s search for clarity, helping the client to carry out that search for his or her important goals. Clarified goal in hand, client and coach go on to the next stage: Discovering the solutions. They discuss and look at different pathways to reach that goal. The coach is trained in knowing which questions to ask to best guide that discovery, and then it is the client who chooses the path that is most fitting for him or her. To have someone cheer you on andhold you accountable is very effective. It makes the process much more pleasant and much more successful.



And then?



Step by step, client and coach go through this enjoyable process. They clarify and sometimes revise the goals;they discover the pathway. The client carries out the plan successfully, and then there is the deep satisfaction — nachas, if you will — of success. Some clients and coaches describe the feeling as one of celebration and triumph. The coach has been able to help the person find fulfillment in the process of reaching his accomplishments. It’s a joy shared — and a joy shared is a greater joy.



How can one become a certified professional life coach?



The Refuah Institute is offering a Certified Life Coach Training Program starting this June. This training is available via Telephone Conferencing, Video Conferencing or on the Jerusalem campus of the Refuah Institute. Upon graduation of this one year Diploma Program you become a certified Professional Life Coach.


For information contact the RefuahInstitute: Tel. USA 646-395-9613, Tel. Israel 972-2-571-5112, email:, or visit



R' Leff & Prof Ritchie teaching at the Refuah Institute

I want to thank Professor Ritchie, Rabbi Glatt and the whole Refuah Staff for an amazing course. I do not hesitate to take on difficult and intense cases since Professor Ritchie and Rabbi Glatt have instilled in me the confidence to handle them effectively.   I hear them saying “Go for it Avromi, you can do it"!


~ Avromi Moldaver CLC, AAPC

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